The admiration that I had for him only grew. Months passed and turned into years. The feeling only deepened. I watched him, hoping and waiting as he interacted with our friends. We spent a lot of time together with our circle of friends so it was almost guaranteed to see him at least once a week. Some of those times, my heart hurt and other times I came home floating and hoped that something would come out of it. Yet as much as I deeply cared about this young man, I tried not to let it show. I feel that a relationship should never be initiated by the girl, no matter how desperate she may be. I am so thankful I waited.
The spring/summer of 2008 was hard, packed full of ups and downs. My heart was to the point of giving up on that hope that I had held to for so long. Nothing had happened. My emotions were tired of this crazy cycle. Somewhere in between driving home from worship crying out to God or falling on my knees on the bridge behind my house, I surrendered everything, once and for all to God. There was no feeling of instant joy or a wave of happiness but I knew that God was in control.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. {Isaiah 55:9}
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